Mothering…..

Ahh….the joys of motherhood!  Well…not always joy, but for the most part- yeah- JOY!!!  I have been reminiscing childbirth lately…not because of Mother’s Day but just, well, I don’t know.  The day that my first was born at a whopping 10 lbs. 1 oz…. unbelievable….she is now a doctor btw!  Then came the second- boy was I ever praying that statistics were wrong and this child would not weigh more than the first!  Hallelujah he weighed in at 8 lbs. 12 oz.  WHEW!  As for this one–he  grew up to be a minister….so I have two wonderful children – both are healers….one is for the body and one is for the soul…pretty good, I’d say.

I often wonder though, did I do enough as a mother.  They are both grown and married, but what do they remember?  I remember when they were my entire existence.  The times that nothing else mattered but to sit down with them and color, watch a favorite t.v. show, play in the mickey mouse tent, read a favorite book for the 100th time.  Sometimes I have to get the photo album out and then the memories really flood in.  I wish I could say that I was a perfect mother,…..”I WAS a ….”  nope, can’t say it!   I wish I could go back and change some things but that is not to be; I try not to live with regrets.  I just wonder….did I say “I love you” enough or did I listen and make them feel as important as they really are?  What would I change if it were possible to do that?  OH…Why must we be young and stupid before we are old and wise?  Why can’t wisdom come earlier?  The wisdom that I finally possess or at least consider my own, knows so much more than then.    My life is more stable….I am not trying to figure out who I am or where I’m going .

My ‘mothering’ days have changed quite a bit since that special day that we met each other for the first time.  My sleepless nights are now from menopause and not a crying baby….I prefer the crying baby!  I always want to be here for my children.  When they need me and when they don’t or think that they don’t.  Truth is – we always need our moms- just in different ways.  And another truth- Moms always need their kids….  Not sure what that special bond is that God placed between a mother and child is, but I do know that it is powerful.

My two children have brought me many gifts over the years, to which most of them I have kept and cherished.  Their most precious gifts were – a daughter in law and a son in law….they are perfect, beautiful gifts.  I cherish them for many reasons…one for the fact they were given to me BY my children, a representation of the most important decision that they alone had to make..

Life has been wonderful and I am very blessed.  If I took my last breath tomorrow, I would still be a blessed woman.  God has been good to me and I thank Him for the opportunity to raise two special, wonderful, perfect gifts that He entrusted to me years ago.  I hope I make Him just a little proud.  Mothering is the hardest thing I have ever encountered, but it has been the greatest in rewards.